Archive for the ‘Picking Bones’ Category

Dread Central has posted some photos from the upcoming House on Sorority Row remake.

There’s one thing I immediately noticed about this series of photos. All the girls look the same. They’re hot yes, but they all have almost exactly the same straight hair of the same length, in variations of brown with a blond thrown in. Same friggin’ hair. Even the chick in the background. Okay so one is asian, she’s got darker straight hair the same length too. Why do all the hot people in most films look the same?

This whole CW/WB thing has gotten way out of hand. Please tell me this is because sorority sisters all belong to one house and therefore share styles or somesuch. They even have the same body type. I’m starting to wonder if there are only two casting directors working in Hollywood who keep picking the same “types”.

Look, even the two older women in the photos have hair the same length. Doesn’t anyone get bad perms anymore? Aren’t there more than two kinds of hairstyles popular at any given time in popular culture? I thought chicks were all over this shit, where’s the variety?

I’m just concerned because I now have to hope these girls are really good actors and will be able to set themselves apart from the others by displaying range and deep characterizations. Could happen. It WON’T, but it could.

Someone once asked me if things were similar in slasher movies of the 80s, a cast full of a bunch of pretty people that all look alike. Sort of, but not this extreme. Check out a few of those films, any ones you like. You’ll see pretty people all right, but if you have trouble telling them apart it will be because their characters are one dimensional or they’re not very good actors and lack charisma. But you will be able to tell them apart by appearance. Most of the time.

I don’t expect much from slashers and I don’t ask for too much when it comes to enjoying them, but this is really starting to bug me. At least Mena Suvari had a crew cut for awhile. I’m not into chicks in crew cuts, but I admire creativity, even if it’s a little crazy. She even had cornrows in Stuck. I can recognize Mena Suvari pretty easily, even when she has that medium length straight hair.

Not proud to say it but it needs to be said, the score so far:

Retro slasher cannon fodder – 1
Contemporary slasher cannon fodder – 0

Holy crap kids, I forgot to put up a new Ghoultoon on Thursday. Sorry about that, I guess I was too busy making photoshop jokes on message boards for other podcasts. I’ll try to get it on here tonight, I wanna do another comic strip to make fun of something else I saw in horror news this week, so those do take a bit longer anyway.

Thanks to all the new people that have been coming here to check them out.

In other news, George Romero announced that his new zombie film finally has a title which is apparently Survival of the Dead. Since the word survival is the antithesis of being dead, I’m not sure I get the reference. Who exactly is surviving here? The zombies are dead already, their lack of survival is what started the whole problem. Idunno, I just hope it’s better than Diary was. George is really looking frail these days so I hope he knocks us on our asses again soon, God bless’m for chain smoking to his heart’s content though. Sorry George, I’m still trying to figure out Bruiser.

 Night, Dawn, Day, what the hell was wrong with Twilight of the Dead? Oh right, that angsty vampire thing ruined that title. Sparkly ZOMBIES? Brrrrrrrr…

I’ve got chunks of podcast files that need to be edited, and when I get more recorded I just might have enough to release two shows at once. Coming up – I do my part to tip the hat to Michael Jackson in a slightly different way, I also compare two recent DVD releases and use them to explain that the hell is wrong with everyone. Yeah, I tend to do that. Then we go 80s retro and I have a few mysteries to clear up there too. Finally we get happy by killing teenagers. I will also have two promo files ready for anyone who wants to plug the show. One is short, one is long, both are funny. I hope.

Y’all come back now, hear?

According to entertainment news website Collider, Wes Craven and Kevin Williamson are working on not one, but three more Scream movies.

Let’s be frank, Scream owes it’s success to the fact that it was one big in-joke. This joke managed to sustain itself for another movie, and was pretty much played out by the third. The Scream series seemed to ask the question “How many times can you reference horror movie cliches before becoming a horror movie cliche?”. I thought the answer to that question was “two times, maybe three.”

Personally, I blame the Saw movies for inspiring the reawakening of older film series and then keep going with the sequels until nobody cares anymore, after which they release three more films anyway.

I have one word for those excited by this Wes Craven related news: Cursed. That’s right, let the memories come…